JOKES ‘

HINDUSTANLINK JOKES ‘

Classroom

Lecturer: The lecturer is taking the class seriously.
One of the student looking towards the window side in the class room.
The lecturer asks the student “For what purpose you are coming to the school?”
Student: For vidhya sir(In Telugu Vidhya means Education).
Lecturer: Then why you are looking towards window?
Student: Vidhya(Girl friend) has not come upto now sir.

Laloo Prasad was hosting a Japanese Delegation for Business Development to Bihar. The Japanese Emissary was quite impressed with Bihar and he stated, “Bihar is an excellent state. Give us three years and we will turn it into an economic superpower like Japan.” Laloo was very surprised. “You Japanese are very ineficient,” he stated. “Give me three days and I will turn Japan into the next Bihar!”

Sardarji Jokes

You can be sure the person is Sardar when he:
- Puts lipstick on the forehead because he wants to makeup his mind.
- Sends a fax with a postage stamp on it.
- Thinks socialism means partying.
- Takes a ruler to bed to see how long he slept.
- At the bottom of the application where it says, “Sign here” he puts “Sagittarius.”
- Sells the car for gas money.
- Misses the 44 bus, and takes the 22 twice instead.
- Drives to the airport and sees a sign that said, “Airport left”, he turns around and goes home.
* * * * * *
Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed.
* * * * * *
How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday?
Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
* * * * * *
What is the Sardar doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
Trying to hold on to a thought.
* * * * * *
Why do Sardars work seven days a week?
So you don’t have to re-train them on Monday.
* * * * * *
What do you see when you look into a Sardar’s eyes?
The back of his head.
* * * * * *
What do you call a sardar who drinks only beer?
Just-beer Singh (’T’ silent!).
* * * * * *
Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.
* * * * * *
Why does Sardar have “TGIF” written on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.
* * * * * *
Why can’t Sardar dial 911?
They can not find the eleven on the phone
* * * * * *
“Oh, look at the dead bird.”
Sardar looked skyward and said “Where, Where?
* * * * * *

Banta shows up at his friend Santa Singh’s place in a Brand New Cycle - Lady Bird.

Santa: Wow Banta, Where did you get the cycle, from?

Banta: I was walking on the highway when a beautiful lady came in this cycle and asked me -”want a ride Mr. Singh?”

I hopped in, and she took me to the woods. Once in woods she got outside took off clothes and said to me “Mr. Singh. take anything”

Santa is quite excited and asks “What did you do Santa?”

Banta: I took the cycle.

Santa: good show - you wouldn’t have fit into her clothes!

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Gujju Jokes

Why did the Gujjus think the man who acted as Gandhi in the film was a woman?

Because his name was ‘Ben’ Kingsley.

Why does the Gujju go to London? To see his Big Ben.

Why did the visitor to the Gujju home run away when he was offered tea?

Because the Gujju said he would serve snakes with it. (snacks)

What is a Gujju picnic called? A snake in the grass

Why did the American get scared of the Gujju? Because he said ‘Sue kare chhe.’

Why did Bill Clinton have the Gujju beaten? The Gujju told him, You are an impotent man.

What will a Gujju tell a tomato who is trailing in a vegetable race?

Come on, Tomato, Ketch up

What did the Gujju mean when he said, Maro dikro STATES ma gayon? His son failed in statistics.

What did the Gujju mean when he said. Maro dikro Dubai gayo? My son drowned.

NEW JOKES

An engineer died & was sent to hell by mistake.
Life in hell was very uncomfortable, so the engineer decided to install air conditioning,
lifts, flush toilets & a host of other modern conveniences.
One day God rang Satan to ask how things were in hell.
“Great!” replied Satan.
“Our engineer has made all kinds of improvements down here.”
“What are you doing with an engineer!”
thundered God.
“That engineer must be sent up to heaven immediately or I’ll sue!”
“Oh really?” replied Satan.
“And just where do you intend to find a lawyer

INDIA BIDS FOR THE CHANNEL TUNNEL
When tenders were floated for the channel tunnel to connect England & France, many international building companies vied with one another to get the contract. The stakes were very high; the job of digging building expertise. Tenders were opened by the Board of Directors of the Anglo-French corporation which had taken on the project. British builders’ estimates were over 200 million dollar, each; French & German builders were marginally lower.
There was one from India: Singh & Singh Builders whose estimate was only 5 million dollars. The Board was for ignoring the Indian tender but out of curiosity invited Singh & Singh over to discuss the plans.
Banta Singh & Santa Singh of Singh & Singh Builders appeared before the Board.
The Chairman asked them “Have you any experience of undertaking this kind of work?”
“Indeed we have,” replied the two Singhs, “we bored a lot of tubewells in the Punjab & Haryana. We can bore holes anywhere.”
“This is not as simple. How will you connect the tunnel from the English side to the French?” “Simple,” replied Santa Singh, “Banta Singh will dig from the French end & I from the English.”
The Chairman was flabbergasted. “You don’t realise that it will need a lot of accurate calculation to get the two tunnels to meet at the same point under the channel. Other companies’ estimates are over 200 million dollars each & you think you can do the same job for 5 million dollars. How will that be possible?”
“What is bothering you?” demanded Singh & Singh, “if our two tunnels don’t meet, instead of one we will give you two tunnels.

Winston Churchill & Abraham Lincoln are both famous for their wit & superb sense of humour. Once they happened to meet on a staircase which was not wide enough for both of them to pass. Churchill stood in the middle of it & said to Lincoln, “I don’t give way to a fool.” Lincoln promptly stepped aside, allowing Churchill to move & replied, “Well but I do, your excellency.”

Mrs Banta knitted a sweater & sent it to her husband by parcel post. With it she sent the following note: ‘I have removed the buttons as they are too heavy & would add to the price of postage. You will find them in the right hand pocket of the sweater.’

A KHADDAR-clad Central Minister visited the Maruti car factory. The manager went out of the way to show him around & at the end of the tour, offered the Minister a free car. ‘Oh, no,’ said the Minister, ‘I cannot accept it.’ ‘In that case I’ll sell it to you for Rupees five hundred.’ The Minister handed the Manager two five-hundred rupee notes: ‘In that case, I’ll have two.’

Ram Lal died while still in service. The department head was good enough to give his widow employment, the gratuity due to her late husband & clear his insurance claims. She was able to buy & equip a new flat with a colour TV, fridge & furniture. Her son asked how she had been able to manage all this luxury. ‘All due to the kindness of your father,’ she replied.
‘If he had not died we would not have had any of this.’

A man appeared at the box office of a cinema and bought two tickets. A few minutes later he returned and bought two more. When, after a short interval, he appeared a third time and offered to pay for two more, the ticket-seller opened the little door in the glass and spoke up. ‘Aren’t you the same gentleman who just bought two tickets and two others just a while ago?’ she asked, puzzled. ‘Yes,’ replied Banta Singh plaintively, ‘but there’s some fool at the gate who keeps tearing them up!’

Once a couple had one of their usual quarrels as a consequence of which all conversation between them stopped. Unfortunately the husband was to attend his office very early the next morning. So he wrote on a piece of paper, “Please wake me up tomorrow morning,” and kept it beside his wife’s pillow. His wife read it and went to sleep. He woke up very late the next morning and got very angry. He looked ferociously at his wife, but she calmly pointed towards his pillow. Under his pillow he found a piece of paper. On it was written, “Please wake up, it is 6 o’clock now.”

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Sindhi Jokes:

What do you call a Sindhi communist? Lalwani.

What do you call a Sindhi who falls from the first floor? Thadani.

What do you call a Sindhi who falls from the 6th floor? Kriplani What do you call a Sindhi who falls from the 20th floor? Marjani.

What do you call a corrupt Sindhi? Chaipani.

Why are a Sindhis nostrils big? Because the air is free.

What do you call a Sindhi who is forgetful? Bhulchandani.

What do you call a Sindhi electrician? Bijlani

What do you call a Sindhi Postman? Mailwani.

What do you call a Sindhi who is fashionable? Primlani.

What do you call a Sindhi cook? Kukreja.