Q. What’s better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics®?
A. Not being retarded!
Q: What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
A: You shouldn’t have to say anything, you already told her twice.
Q: Why was the blonde snorting Equal?
A: She thought it was diet coke.
Q. What’s the difference between a dead dog and a dead lawyer in the middle of the road?
A. There are skid marks in front of the dog.
Q. If you see a lawyer riding a bicycle, why should you NOT swerve to hit him?
A. Because it could be your bicycle.
Q: Did you hear about the new Jewish tire company Firestein?
Their tires not only stop on a dime, they pick it up.
Q: What do you call a dwarf psychic who’s escaped from jail?
A: A small medium at large.
Q: Why do Sumo (huge Japanese) wrestlers shave their legs?
A: So people don’t mistake them for feminists.
Q. What do you do with a dog that has no legs?
A. Take it out for a drag.
Q. How many emo kids does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Three. One to change it, one to cry about it, and another to write a zine about it.
Q. How do you sink a Polish submarine?
A. Knock on the door.
Q. How many Irishmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Two. One to hold the bulb and another to drink until the room starts spinning.
Q. why do seagulls always fly over the sea
A. because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels
Q. Why do Scottsmen wear kilts?
A. Sheep learned to recognize the sound of zippers
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Filed under: Kids Riddles
