1. Three men went to hell.
The devil said to them “You have come to hell, and you must now choose whether to spend eternity in room 1, 2 or 3″
He then opened the doors to the three rooms.
Room 1 was filled with men standing on their heads, on a hard wooden floor.
Room 2 was filled with men standing on the heads, on a cement floor.
Finally, room 3 had just a few men, standing in shit up to their knees and drinking coffee.
The men thought for a while, and decided to go with room 3, as it was less crowded and they could drink coffee.
They entered the door to room 3 and just as it was closing behind them, the devil said “OK men, coffee break’s over. Back on your heads.”
2. An expectant father rang the hospital to see how his wife was getting on. By mistake he was connected to the Lord’s cricket ground. “How’s it going?” he asked. “Fine,” came the answer,”We’ve got three out and hope to have the rest out before lunch. The last one was a duck.”
3. What’s the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road? There are skid marks in front of the dog.
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