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Three college friends, one each from the Universities of Oxford, Cambridge and Loughborough, decided to pool their funds and go to the Olympics in Barcelona. The airfare and hotel rates ate up most of their money so they didn’t have enough to get into the stadium to see the events.

So they stood around the gate, watching all the other people get in and then noticed that some people didn’t have to pay. Whenever an athlete passed the guard with his (or her) equipment, the guard would simply nod and let them through. So the three visitors quickly trotted off to a nearby hardware shop and came back to try to get in.

The Oxford student walked up to the guard and gestured at the long pole he carried. “Pole vaulting,” he said, and the guard waved him through.

The Cambridge student, having rigged up a ball to a length of chain, approached the guard next and showed of his wares. “Hammer throwing,” he said, and the guard shrugged and waved him through.

The catering student from Southborough came last, with a roll of chain link on his shoulder. “Fencing.”

Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. “Wake up, It’s time to go to school!”

“But why, Mom? I don’t want to go.”

“Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go.”

“Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!”

“Oh, that’s no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready.”

“Give me two reasons why I should go to school.”

“Well, for one, you’re 52 years old. And for another, you’re the Principal!”

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